The TSA’s security policies are getting more and more bizarre, from testing people’s drinks for explosives to ordering all travelers to freeze on command, but could a frightening policy that was seriously explored by the DHS be resurrected – forcing people to wear taser bracelets that would deliver an electric shock if they got out of line?

The story sounds like it belongs in a South Park episode or on an urban myths website – but it was actually true.

In 2008, the Washington Times reported on how DHS official Paul S. Ruwaldt of the Science and Technology Directorate, office of Research and Development, wrote to Lamperd Less Lethal, Inc. indicating that the Department of Homeland Security was ready to purchase devices from the company that would be used to deliver incapacitating shocks to airline passengers, all of whom would be mandated to wear the taser bracelet once they checked in for their flight.

The so-called "safety bracelet," also known as the Electronic ID Bracelet, was designed to replace a boarding pass and be capable of tracking the passenger through the airport by means of GPS technology. The device would also contain details about the passenger and their flight plans.

The primary function of the device was to allow airport officials and flight crews to deliver an incapacitating electric shock to travelers by means of Electro-Muscular Disruption (EMD), completely immobilizing the individual for minutes. The bracelet would be worn by all travelers until they disembarked at their location. The patent for the device admits that all passengers could be incapacitated if the devices are activated.

Following a wave of negative publicity, the DHS pulled the plug on its interest in the torture bracelet.

However, given that the TSA is already doling out punishments for people who do not display the proper level of obedience, by either preventing them from flying , stealing their cash , or simply punching them in the balls , how far away are we from the hideous idea of the taser bracelet being resurrected?

The fact that the torture bracelet was ever seriously considered at all should send chills down the spine of every American who values their dignity, especially given the endless train of TSA abuse stories that pour in on a weekly basis.

**********************************

At least one student at Harvard University is expressing outrage over the name of "Incest-Fest," a hook-up dance to be held at the university’s famous Kirkland House dormitory this winter.

The event, described in the Kirkland House Wikipedia entry, is an annual "debaucherous dance open only to [male and female] members of the house."

Harvard’s official student newspaper, The Crimson, also mentions the event in it campus life guide.

"You’ll spend all of Secret Santa week watching underclad men gyrating in the dining hall and figuring out who you’ll hook up with at Incest Fest," it reads. "[H]ouse life is incredibly close-knit, bordering on downright incestuous.

Famous former residents of the Kirkland dorm include Sen. Pat Toomey (R-Pa.) and, and Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg.

*************************************

Here's today's face-palm moment, courtesy of Florida Gov. Rick Scott, who helpfully, unintentionally, and hysterically promoted the phone number for an adult hotline during a meeting of the Florida Cabinet yesterday. He apparently got his digits mixed up when trying to direct Floridians to the hotline for information about the state's recent meningitis outbreak . Callers who dialed the mistaken number were greeted by a sexy female voice saying, "Hello boys, thank you for calling me on my anniversary." Needless to say, Scott quickly realized his error and distributed the right number.

************************************

A German court has ordered a dominatrix to pay 200 euros ($260) to a local charity as a penance after a client accused her of hurting and robbing him.

Cologne district court spokesman Dirk Esser said the plaintiff had accused the woman he hired for sex last month of holding a kitchen knife to his throat before demanding his debit card and PIN number.

The plaintiff, a 49-year-old undertaker, also said the woman had detained him against his will for five hours.

The court decided that it was impossible to know for sure what really happened because both parties had consumed too much cocaine during their encounter.

It dropped the charges but ordered the prostitute to pay the "penance money" to a charity that supports crime victims.

The 35-year-old mother of four has been in pre-trial custody for the past five weeks, but declined to be compensated for time spent in jail, Esser said.

The dominatrix denied keeping the man against his will, adding that he had also asked if a transsexual colleague could join them.

*******************************************

A small time thief was about to make off with $250 from an adult store in Dallas when he realized that he had the opportunity to also steal a penis pump -- so he rose to the occasion.

Cops say the man -- still at large -- busted into Zone d' Erotica on Sunday, carrying a knife and demanding cash .

Clerks gave the thug $250, but he also decided to grab a pump made for male enhancement worth another $150, according to a police report.

It remains unclear who the man is or which pump he chose, but, a true believer in pump action would have chosen the Dr. Joel Penis Pump System. On the Zone d' Erotica website , the pump is described as a "heavy-duty high pressure metal vacuum pump with EZ grip padded handles, professional vacuum gauge, flanged clear cylinder, non-crimping flexible hose, universal interlocking male and female connectors, quick disconnect valve, and a hygienically superior silicone vacuum seal."

All of these attributes are extremely important for "reliable use," according to the site.

The theft is still under investigation.